Candace Anger

For as long as I can remember food and self were in the center. I remember from a very young age being pulled to food and would often hide it and eat it in secret. My Mother was very thin and so was the rest of the family. When my Mom died at age 12, the outside force that helped me keep that weight down was removed, I came home everyday and ate a half of box of cereal while watching a soap opera - this became a ritual (8th grade) and soon it started to show up quickly on my body. At the same time, I really missed my Mom and there was no one around to point me upwards - I would get told all the time "I am not sure why you have it so hard." "I hope you get to be happy again someday." "You have such a hard life" "I can't believe that you have been through so much and your aunts do not even take care of you - they could do so much more." This was compounded with a year of "counseling" where I was told my Father was this, my Mother was this and I needed to express myself, I was treated unfair etc. blah, blah, blah All this to say - that I bought into it - hook, line and sinker. My whole life then began a search to get my needs met - to be fulfilled - to be taken care of. I became full of self-pity and greed for attention, prideful and self centered. I do remember looking for God in a lot of places but never being able to grasp on to anything and the bible seemed so intimidating - even if I would try to read it - I would not be able to understand it. I was not raised religious, but if I ever got invited to a service I would go - I longed to be around friends who had a faith - Catholic or whatever because they seemed so lucky to be religious, but I never seemed to fit in anywhere.

At the age of 27 I walked into a church after being completely humbled - got dumped, lost my job etc. etc. Within a week of attending this church a woman handed me a Weigh Down Diet Book. Little did I know that the answer to all my pain would be opened up through this book and the answers to how to be happy would be completely unveiled - I was about to learn how to love God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength and this book and this Shephard was about to open up the Word of God to me and show me how to walk it out. I had just won the spiritual lottery. Well, that was in 1997 - and I often look back at receiving that book as the single most life changing event in my life.

I started losing weight and I loved everything about Weigh Down because the more I applied the principles the more I broke free. I did every class, had every tape etc. I loved it so much; I traveled to Desert Oasis in 2000 to hear Gwen speak live. I was totally and completely blown away. I knew that what I was hearing was totally different and totally true better than anything I had ever heard - in my church - in my life. The Word of God was becoming so real and my mind began to grasp that the bible was something that you could understand. But in some ways I felt alone - others around me in New York except a few fellow Weigh Downers did not feel the same way and if I tried to explain it they seemed so put off or confused. It was like they were blind and deaf. At then end of DO 2000, Gwen talked about the Remnant Church and I absolutely LOVED the video she showed. I was also so bummed that I lived in New York and that Remnant was in Nashville. Finally I found something but it was a 17 hour drive away. They had a meeting about Remnant that night and I attended with a friend at the time. Still I loved it, but believed it was impossible to be part of it because I lived in New York.

Another half year passed and a "Remnant Weekend" popped up. I had been dying for my husband to get to experience what I had at DO 2000 so he said he would go. I was blown away that weekend. I never felt so much love and I never heard so much Truth - I never heard so much of God's Word. I never heard anything before in my life that made this much sense. I repented and was baptized that weekend and left a very changed person only wanting God to rule in my life - I wanted a Lordship - I did not want to decide anymore when I ate, where I would go - I wanted to be led by the Spirit - the Holy Spirit - not the blowing of the wind. That was the beginning and on September 13, 2001, my husband and I joined Remnant Fellowship with another couple. Since then, God has been so merciful to reveal this very deep self love and selfishness in every area.

Through this message of Truth and a leadership that cares about God's laws, wishes, commands and the needs of His people more than anything, I have seen everyone around me break free from long life illnesses, plagues etc. As far as Leadership, I have never in my life seen a more selfless group of people - starting with Gwen. This Leadership truly serves and every day looks to God to see where He is leading and what needs to be done. It will all the sudden be laid on the heart that the marriages need help, or the teens or strugglers. There is no neglect - and that is polar opposite to my old church. No self motivation - that is why they never ask for money or anything from the congregation - again polar opposite. Constant serving and giving because they are not living off of us - they are living off of God. Never in my life have I seen a Leadership and Gwen care more about my salvation than anything else. I know that every leader's home is open at all times, phones at all time, lives at all times - even when I paid for a therapist - I did not get that and that was $80 a hour. Also, all the counsel and encouragement is free - I have never seen that before. I have seen examples in the Leadership of TRUE humility, submission, love of authority, love for children and laying their lives down for the poor and needy - the widowed and the orphaned. This leadership of Gwen, men and Jennifer Martin are truly devoted to God with every action and deed. There is not one other place in my life where I have witnessed it and if I did not see it with my own eyes I probably would not believe it existed. True humble servants of God Almighty. I go to God for every want now - I go to my husband for leading. I am convicted everyday to serve upwards to be a light. Instead of looking for my husband to meet my needs - I look to meet His. Instead of looking for my children to fill me up - I am looking to meet all of their needs and help find this connection to God. Instead of wanting to eat in secret - I think of Heaven and know that I am never alone and EVERY action against God is disgusting. Instead of searching and grabbing for vacations, time, money - I now look for the Spirit - where, when, how much God?

My prayers at this time are being answered more than ever before. I love praying about a situations - hoses, moving, fixing cars, wisdom and discernment because then I get to see how He answers it and brings it to pass. Every morning when I wake up I now realize it is a choice - I can feel sorry for myself or I can focus all my attention and needs upwards on God and my husband and getting something for the Kingdom done - knowing that God will take care of everything. One focus - self pity led to misery/depression - the other to contentment, peace, satisfaction, love. I now love correction - I now love looking inwards. Even early in Remnant - I had a horrible attitude with judging - looking at others and their faults - instead of totally looking at my own. Now I long to see what I can do better I just want to be pure and for God's will to get done. God and serving God has been the answer to peace, joy, happiness, love etc. I cannot wait to live out all my days correcting mistakes from yesterday and the past years. I cannot wait to learn more of this incredible God we serve. I cannot wait for the opportunity to gain the trust and favor of those above me as I lay self totally down and serve for the rest of my life. I pray at my funeral - they say - she was devoted to the One True God and it was proven by her actions and her life. Now there is hope, freedom, true love, and true peace - one that cannot be taken away. I praise God everyday for God, His Son, Jesus Christ, this church, these Leaders - especially Gwen, this body and this chance - to live eternal.