I grew up with a Christian family, went to church every Sunday, and attended a Christian school and university. You might think that I was very Christian since my family was Christian, my school was Christian, and my church was Christian, but I didn't know God's word, or how to pray, or what it meant to have a true relationship with God. Growing up without knowing the commands of God, I developed into a self-centered, prideful, lustful, young woman. I grew up with rules, and following the rules was my righteousness (even though I only followed the ones I wanted). I was lazy and I worried about everything. I was terribly afraid of the dark and would be afraid to walk to my bed after turning the light off. I didn't love anyone and thought I knew better than everyone else. I was mad most of the time because people just irritated me. A person had to fit into my "box" of expectations and standards before I would stop my ruthless gossip and mockery and decide to tolerate that person. I would make fun of any one for any reason. I can't believe I'm not dead because I drove with rage all the time. I didn't really like being mad all the time, and that frustrated me, consequently, I was also sad and lonely. My excuse for being sad one minute and mad the next would be "PMS" and "post MS". Because I was self-centered and people irritated me, I didn't like to go out with people, except my ex-boyfriend (who I literally idolized), and didn't have any friends. When I was sad, lonely, mad, or irritated, I would go to my ex-boyfriend's or go shopping. And since I was sad, lonely, mad and irritated all the time, I constantly thought about what I could buy when I got paid, or where my boyfriend and I could go when I had a free moment to spend with him. You could say that my life revolved around my ex-boyfriend and shopping, but really, I made everyone revolve around me because when I wanted to go shopping, I would pout or make up some excuse. When I wanted to spend time with my ex-boyfriend, I would throw a fit or bother him until we went out. Everything had to be what I wanted, and when I wanted it, or I was mad! After hearing what it really means to be a Christian, I THREW off my old self and put my focus on God and His Will! Every time I felt like going shopping, or running to my ex-boyfriend, or anything else that I had tried before, I thought about God and what He would like me to do! I would pray or read my Bible until the temptation passed! Because I was focusing on God, and not on things of this world, the emotional prison I put myself in was no longer in existence! I had the FRUITS of the Spirit and was a new creation! Since then, I have been obeying God and falling more in love with Him for a over three years! I get to be a part of Remnant Fellowship and I love everyone here! I love that I can talk to the leaders of the church without feeling intimidated. They are so patient and always point me back up to God. I know that they put their advice into practice because I can see the blessings and fruit in their lives! Their families are in order and their houses are always open to the church. Obeying God is the best thing and you could not trade me anything in the world for answered prayers! I would not take a million dollars to disobey God's commands! I love God and obeying Him and finding out more about Him and His personality through His word and the world that He created! He's the BEST and I owe Him everything!
Topics: Anger