I am full of joy and excitement. I love being able to wake up and know that I can call upon God at any hour. Just that I wake up at all...This wasn't always the case. I woke up and didn't want anyone to talk to me until a certain time - a "don't' bother me" attitude. Life was all about me. Almost 7 years ago I was going through a lot of transitions in my life. A big one was graduating and taking my board exams to become a massage therapist. During this time I was beginning to visit a church that was MUCH different than the one I grew up in.
I grew up Catholic and went to church because I was told to. I didn't like it and I don't know that I really ever got anything out of it. I didn't pay attention. I could recite the prayers or creeds, but it wasn't from the heart. It was just something we did. There was NO relationship with God. God was simply someone that I called upon when I wanted something for my own selfish reasons. Shortly after visiting this new church with new music and new faces who seemed interested that I was there, I began calling myself a Christian. I began reading the Bible, I began praying and I even lost some of my close friends because I didn't think it was right to get drunk and smoke anymore. A few parts of me changed, but it was pretty much just actions, not my heart.
At this same time I began gaining weight like crazy. I had just moved about an hour from my hometown and I didn't really know anyone. Instead of running to God when I felt lonely, I started running to food. It had such a pull on me. I couldn't stop gaining the weight and every time I was confronted about my weight gain, I said I didn't know why I was gaining the weight. After all, I was exercising hours a day, eating fruits and salads (not to mention 2-3 pieces of cheesecake, an extra large value meal w/ dessert and then popcorn....) and on many diets and diet pills. I tried so many different diets. I tried to be anorexic. I tried to be bulimic. I tried to stay on a diet...well not really. But what I never tried to do was let God be in control. No one was telling me this was what I needed to do. No one told me I needed to stop lying and stop being greedy. No one told me this was greed, until I started watching the Weigh Down at Home videos.
God's timing in it all was perfect. I was at a point where I didn't think I could take it any more. I was crying out to God and I was afraid of what the scales were telling me. I was falling into depression and misery. I hated what I looked like, how I felt, what I was doing, and how people (my family especially) were looking at me and what they might be thinking of me. I remember getting on the scale one day and being shocked and afraid. At this point I knew what I was doing was wrong before God. I was not taking care of this body He gave me. I cried out to Him from the bottom of my heart and prayed. I cannot believe God answered my prayer after all the wrong I had done. By the end of the month I started dating the man of my dreams. After meeting his family, I found out that his mom did Weigh Down and I prayed God would allow me to do it too. We started watching the videos and I couldn't believe what I was hearing. All the words being spoken rang true for me. I remember thinking "You mean I'm not the only one who is a closet binger?" As time went on, the weight was coming off week by week and I was becoming happier and happier. Not just because I was losing the weight, but God was doing a mighty work in my heart. I was learning more about Him and my heart finally started to change, the right way.
Shortly after, in January of 2002, we joined Remnant Fellowship and never felt the need to go back to the church I was going to. I have lost 63 pounds. I've laid down so many things that don't line up with true Christianity. I now look to God to have all control over a situation. I've learned humility, honor, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, self-control, and love. I don't get angry anymore. I know life does not revolve around me. I believe the Bible, what it says and what it says to do. I know this is all from God and that He has made it possible through His Son to be able to live a life worthy of the calling we have received. I now have brothers and sisters in this message that encourage me and help me. They truly love me. They want God's will for my life and they show me the right thing to do. They would not let me go down the wrong path. My heart is full and happy with God. I never knew this kind of joy existed. I never knew God was so personal. I have learned so much about God through this teaching and these awesome brothers and sister in Christ. I am so thankful that God has opened my eyes to what He wants and what pleases Him. I give HIM all the credit and I thank God Almighty daily for changing my heart to love Him. I am truly a new creation ever since joining Remnant Fellowship. Praise God.
Topics: Overweight