I found Remnant Fellowship when I was very young through my mother. I joined Remnant when I was 10 years old and it changed my life and continues to do so. I was heavily overweight weighing nearly 135 lbs at just ten years old, and I was well on my way to many other idols such as lust and greed that had been the hallmarks of the men in my family for generations. I also struggled with anger, but not just anger - what I struggled with was rage. I lost my weight as I grew up eventually winning my battle with food and losing 65 lbs in the process. A body that is in God's boundaries is an amazing contrast to one that is not.
The anger didn't fade until I was about 16. When you're tested with raging anger, it isn't just some frustration or some influence on your actions/thoughts, it consumes you. It was always a choice, but when I chose to let the rage take me I gave myself wholly over to the worst part of myself. I was obsessed with fairness and was always angered when life or God didn't fit my selfish perception of what was fair. So I was nearly always angry, and therefore just one step or one choice away from that anger and that rage. When I was raging I said awful things, broke things, and couldn't stand to be around people or myself for that matter. All I could focus on was what I wanted, what I wasn't getting, the attention that people weren't giving to me, and the way no one seemed to care enough about what I wanted. It was sick.
It is a horrible thing to be a young man with that much anger inside of him. You live in a world of rules and frustrations entirely of your own making. You're angry constantly because things can't go your way all the time. You're constantly one step away from snapping and hurting yourself or someone else, and the worst part is that sometimes that is almost frighteningly appealing to you. The lack of control, the acting on all the things that you want--even the ones you shouldn't, it's comforting almost because you can do whatever you want and not care who you hurt or what the consequences are, and that deep down you kind of enjoy it. What I discovered through Remnant Fellowship was that not only was this loved and fawned over idol of anger a choice, it was my choice. It was my decision whether or not I went to God with those feelings and emotions or focused in on that dark and fiery passion. So through that I decided, I chose, not to be angry and to give my love and attention to one truly more worthy than me, God.
It has been so blessed where once many wouldn't be able to stand me, others now say I am a nice, friendly, easy-going person. All those things that I thought I wasn't getting, even the ones I didn't need, God gave to me. I would never go back to that life of self-focus and anger that is so much less than a life serving the One True God.
To find your way out of anger, watch this powerful lesson that will give you a new focus: How to Have a Child-like Heart